I am a literature student and I have tears of laughter in my eyes
"Oh, to be toilet paper, that I might touch that cheek."
"Do you wipe your bum at us, sir?"
"No, sir, I do not wipe my bum at you, sir, but I wipe my bum, sir."
"Diarrhea on both your houses!"
"How silver-sweet sound lovers’ toots by night,
Like the softest music to attending ears.”
Actual photo of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts’ microwave.
Last night I got an unprompted text from a random number. I went with it.
"oh you’re not doing anything so i guess you can help me with th-“
It got better.
This is precious